Ask Nancy (What do I do if my friend is in a toxic relationship?)

Nancy, Toxic Waste Disposer

“What do I do if my friend is in a toxic relationship?”


Hey girl, this one is tough. You’d never want to see your friend hurt, but there’s only so much you can do for them before it crosses a line.

The first and most important step is knowing if your friend is truly in a toxic relationship. Maybe you don’t know all of what’s going on. You may think it’s toxic because your friend only comes to you with the bad stuff, which is what they need advice on. Although them wanting advice could be a cry for help.

However,  if you have proof and you truly believe they are in a toxic relationship here are some tips on how to break the news to them, in a relatively nice way.

All you can really do is talk to them, but that may seem scary since you don’t want to hurt their feelings. You need to bring the topic in casually, but seriously. You don’t want to scare them off. You could just start by asking how’s it going with their relationship, and if they talk about negative experiences, bring up the fact that you have noticed how that’s all that you have heard. Just remember to not be mean about it, but don’t sugarcoat things. At first, they won’t want to listen to you, they’re stuck in a black hole of toxic-ness. Make sure you explain clearly what the signs are of a toxic relationship. Pull out some articles and read them with your friend, that may help with explaining.

If all else fails, you should just leave them alone about it and have your friend figure it out themselves. That may be hard to just sit there and watch them be oblivious, but that’s the best you can do if they don’t listen to you.

I really hope your friend realizes their worth and gets out of this toxic mess of a relationship. It may take time, but they will eventually leave and be happier.